SLOWTUS NOTES

The powers that be decided to migrate our office email system to Lotus Notes. 

Holy fucking crap!!! This has got to be the most counter-intuititve application ever written. Just a few issues I have picked up after using it for a couple of weeks.

 

1. Human User interface sucks. Note to IBM: next time around, please read Apple’s guidelines on how applications are supposed to behave, as opposed to just porting the way you’ve been doing it for PC’s. Do yourself a favour, call Microsoft, ask them why MS Word 95 tanked on Mac.

 

a) there is no way to “correctly” select multiple emails to be deleted:

Shift-click, the traditional way of selecting contiguous items results in the current selection being ignored and the subsequent clicks selected.

Command-click, the traditional “Mac” way of selecting discontiguous items does nothing at all.

 

b) click-and-drag does nothing. You cannot use it to create a new “memo” (which idiot came up with that name?) or even copy and paste selected text or even save attachments.

 

c) speaking of attachments, they cannot be viewed within the so called “preview” window. Er… duh, then what are you previewing? Having to open up each and every jpg file in an email is just a total waste of mouse-clicks and my time.

 

d) Multiple undo has been with us for more that 10 years. Get with the program.

 

e) Multiple-choice question: When I delete an email do you think I want to be automatically taken to:

i) the next unread email?

ii) a previously read email which may be weeks old depending on the emails in-between that I had previously deleted?

 

f) What is it with the myriad of tabbed windows and proliferation of the same buttons in each tabbed-view? Don’t you understand context? When I hit Reply to All, what’s the purpose of giving me a “Reply to All” button in the new tab that you have just opened?

 

g) When I hit Reply All and compose a message, it is a reasonable assumption that I know what the content of the message is. So why does Notes send my reply to me?

 

 

2. CPU. Why is this program consuming  8% of my CPU capacity when it is idle? What is it doing?

 

3. Integration. I spent a considerable amount of money on a phone that I could sync my contact and addresses with my computer. That investment is now rubbish as:

 

a) I can’t import my existing address book into Notes without Notes causing a system panic (if you use a Mac you know that this never, ever happens – congratulations, IBM, on bringing my formerly reliable computer to its knees);

 

b) I can’t do the same with my calendars or to-do notes or memos (see the stupidity above), either.

 

c) UPDATE: Assuming I could actually get my existing contacts and calendars into Notes, the only way to sync them to my phone is by using an aptly named product called “PC Suite”, which – no prizes for guessing – ONLY RUNS ON A PC!

 

4. If the network goes down Notes shuts-down my computer! WTF??

Apparently this only happens when you are working with the on-line database (i.e. the one on the server). However, you may chose to “replicate” that database on your own hard drive and the problem goes away. Now, what does “replicate” mean? Oh, yeah, it means make an exact copy of. Ok, makes sense to have a backup, but why does this program have to duplicate the entire damn thing each time? Hello, dudes, just copy the stuff that’s changed and leave the rest alone. It will save everybody a lot of time and the network a lot of grief.

 

5. What kind of email client does NOT have a keyboard shortcut to create a new “memo” (sic), but has one to create a new URL?

 

No shortcuts to add attachments either. Do you have any idea how long it takes me to get my cursor from the bottom right-hand corner of my 20 inch screen to the top left? Here comes RSI.

 

 

a) There are three (yes, three) ways to create a new “memo” (sic) and still no keyboard shortcut. 

i) The stupid button with the stupid name on the stupid icon bar, to wit, “New Memo”

ii) From the “File” Menu: the item “New” pops up a submenu with “New Memo” somewhere in it.

iii) From the “Create” Menu there is… wait for it… a menu item called “Mail”!!! And this pops out a submenu with that stupid name right at the top! And here’s something I just can’t bend my head around: why are there items to create “To Do”, “Calendar Entry” and whatever the hell “Specials” are within a submenu labelled “MAIL”?????

 

And, ladies and gentlemen this is a VERSION 7 piece of software! What the hell were the earlier ones like?

 

b) Why is there a “Send” menu item (plus others) in the menu called “Actions”? No seriously, there’s a button that says “send” at the top left corner of each and every “memo” (sic) you will ever create. Ever! Did they just run out of things to put in menus?

 

c) Ok, sorry, I’m a Mac guy, so explain to me really s-l-o-w-l-y why I need a menu item called “Refresh”. What does it do, email me a warm bath and a massage?